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Rule of the Universe!

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I must revive the MONKIES!! [Mar. 4th, 2004|02:48 pm]
Rule of the Universe!

[Monkey is |amusedamused]
[This Monkey likes |Fisher - Had To]

Well, although monkeys are pretty cool and stuff...

the original idea was political satire... ah well, but since we are in a voting year here, why not try and get it back in motion? and keep each other up on fun Monkey business as well!
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(no subject) [Jan. 17th, 2004|10:19 am]
Rule of the Universe!
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom!
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La la la la!!!!!! [Jun. 12th, 2003|05:31 pm]
Rule of the Universe!

[Monkey is |creative]
[This Monkey likes |The Monkees...okay, no, I lied. Poe. =)]


Here is some toilety monkey fun..

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Monkey Battle!!!!! [Mar. 28th, 2003|11:19 am]
Rule of the Universe!

[Monkey is |amusedamused]
[This Monkey likes |Stone Temple Pilots - Plush]

Joe Black
is a
Bug-Eating Cowboy Monkey

...with a Battle Rating of 5.7

To see if your Food-Eating Battle Monkey can
defeat Joe Black, enter your name:

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speaking of not being around... [Mar. 19th, 2003|12:52 pm]
Rule of the Universe!

[This Monkey likes |System Of A Down - Aerials]

I've been kinda not updating monkey sightings!


usually has a monkey or some kind of simian on that show! good stuff.

The other day I saw an Ape fashion show. Apes in Tuxedos and wedding dressing!

but no bacon.
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been a while...sorry...but... [Mar. 19th, 2003|05:42 am]
Rule of the Universe!

LOOK AT THIS! ------> naughty monkies

they should have used bacon instead.

what were they THINKING?!?!
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I LIKE MONKEYS [Feb. 14th, 2003|05:27 pm]
Rule of the Universe!

[Monkey is |accomplished]
[This Monkey likes |sound of my new broadband connection YAY]

The pet store was selling them for $5 a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kind of like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.
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Whiplash!! [Feb. 7th, 2003|05:40 pm]
Rule of the Universe!

[Monkey is |amusedamused]
[This Monkey likes |Korn - Freak on a leash]

A short news blurb on the guy

The Whiplash online jigsaw puzzle

Third short blurb with different pictures
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Monkeys in the News [Feb. 7th, 2003|05:27 pm]
Rule of the Universe!

[Monkey is |okayokay]
[This Monkey likes |Tomahawk - Honeymoon]

I heard something about a Whiplash the Rodeo Monkey.

Does anyone have any information on this rough and tumble guy?

I'm going to look around the net and see if I can find anything!
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=( [Dec. 28th, 2002|03:18 pm]
Rule of the Universe!

[Monkey is |annoyedannoyed]
[This Monkey likes |Fu Man Choo]

I didn't get a monkey for Christmas. =(

No bacon was cooked either.

But I will get along, once again, without them.

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